The Greatest Maid In The World
by ThousandCross777
Summary: Normal life has settled back into the peaceful town of Namimori. (Snort) As if. Meet Akamouto Lilia. Due to unfortunate circumstances, now works for the infamous, ruthless Mafia/Assassin group, the Varia. Now, she only has to survive the death trap all the while facing her greatest challenge. Love. Well, it can't be hard. After all, she is The Greatest Maid in the World.
1. Chapter 1

_**Hey, guys! What's uuuuuuuuuuuuuup!?**_

_**Well, i guess you could say i lost motivation for my other stories. I couldn't think of a good climax for one and frankly, i didn't have time. What, with grade 12 and stuff. Plus, my parents deprived me of internet (except for a few precious hours) wile i was abroad for 2 months. So yeah. **_

_**But, hey! I've always wanted to do this one. I thought i'd publish it, see how you guys like it, based on reviews, than just deleting it. I was cleaning up my computer and i didn't have the heart to throw out my very first fanfic.**_

_**Anyway, enjoy. Tell, me what you think too!**_

* * *

**The Greatest Maid In The World**

**PROLOGUE…..**

Life all but sucked.

Not only had she just found out her cute yet not blood related brother, Tsunayoshi Sawada had been elected as the next Vongola Boss, she had been dragged to one of his crazy adventures. This particular one, more life threatening than the one before.

Seriously, she had been working at her parents small cafe, Namimorine Cafe, just hours ago since she was the owner of it after her parents unintended demise. That was until her old tutor, the great Hitmen and currently an Arcobaleno Reborn had dragged her - literally - to watch her little brother's execution at the hands of none other than Vongola's Personal Assassination Squad, the Varia.

Who are the Arcobaleno you ask? In a word…. They're babies. No really. Actual 1 year old babies. Yeah, don't let their cuteness fool you. These set of Seven Super Destruction Chaos packed in a 2 Kg Bundle were actually the Mafia Underworlds Strongest People. Due to 'complicated circumstances' the Seven are currently stuck in their infant form, power and abilities reduced to more than half. But don't get me wrong. And, these set of devil-incarnations still remain the strongest. Pissing them off will send you into your grave sooner than you can say, "Shit."

And how was she related to all this? Simple. Her grandfather was the man who unified the Vongola some 30 years ago. Yes, the one and only Vongola Nono, Timotheo who also just happens to be the Boss of the Strongest Mafia in the World.

"But Reborn! I don't see why I have to go along! I'm not even a Candidate..." screeched the granddaughter of Timotheo

"Shut up." Unfortunately the reply was a bit more violent than she would have preferred as Reborn's black footed heel connected with her face. Executed magnificently, she flew some meters back and crashed into the nearby wall.

"REBORN! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

"Lilia, as the original Candidate, it's your duty to oversee the secondary Candidate's rightful duties. Which also includes his death."

"YOU LIAR!"

Reborn's eyes twinkled. Although to any normal person it would be an adorable look befitting his adorable physique, but to a person who was literally raised by said Arcobaleno, it was most indefinitely a glare.

She was doomed.

"Did you say something, Lilia?"

Lilia's eye twitched. "N-no, Reborn-sama..."

Running up to catch up with him, Lilia continued. "But I still don't get it. I know my mom was the Primary Candidate, but when she refused she abandoned all Vongola relations. And I understand by blood I'm next, legitimately wise, but still technically I also abandoned relations right? So why am I involved again? Was it jii-chan?"

"You are half right. But once a Vongola always a Vongola, regardless of status. Plus, by blood you have certain duties that even if you leave the Vongola, you still have to perform. Since you are older, and frankly less stupid than Dame-Tsuna, it's still your duty as both Vongola and older sister to him to see he makes it. The 9th requested me to ...'ask'… you to observe his progress."

Lilia sweat dropped at the "less stupid" comment but then smirked, smiling like a Cheshire cat at another thought, "Was that a compliment, oh great Hitman-sama?"

Again she was mercilessly and quite rudely reunited with the wall.

"HEY I'M A GIRL YOU KNOW!"

Ignoring her comment Reborn simply continued. "The 9th still hasn't fully acknowledged Dame-Tsuna yet. So, he gave the other half of the Vongola Rings to the Varia's Boss, Xanxus."

"Really now. Then that must mean Tsuna has to fight it out for his half right?" she sighed, already slightly aware of the problems to come. "Man, is he going to be alright? It's weird though, Jii-chan isn't the type to do these kind of things." Worried yet questioned the patisserie

Reborn smirked, acknowledging Lilia's keen Hyper Intuition.

"So what am I really supposed to do?" asked Lilia now following the infant Hitman

"Watch and if you can, learn. You are after all, Lilia Akamouto."

* * *

The Battle Between the rings was intense. Lilia's usually idiotically cheerful face turned a nasty angered and disgusted look, when she saw what Xanxus had done to her grandpa.

Xanxus had almost tried to kill Timotheo, his own non-biological father and Vongola 9th Boss, Tsuna and his 6 Guardians were pissed.

It took all of Lilia's willpower and Reborn's kicks to keep her contained within the viewing area, otherwise Tsuna facing disqualification.

She had never really cared about her Mafia lineage, preferring to live a rather normal life. But by God, she loved her grandpa. He was the only family she had left. He was the man who had protected her parents and her, when rival mafia's kept coming to kill them for revenge against the Vongola. And he was the only man who had stuck up for his daughter, her mother when she had willingly decided to leave behind the mafia world.

But by God, she loved her grandpa. So imagine her feelings when she saw her beloved grandpa's limp body falling out of the damaged Gola Mosca.

Fists clenched itching to beat the crap out of the man, but she bit her lip to hold it back as she watched her little brother unleash his fury at the man responsible for such horror.

When Xanxus was petrified by the Zero Point Breakthrough, he immediately broke out and grabbed the Vongola Ring from a surprised Tsuna.

Quite madly, he laughed as he put on the ring, assuming he had won.

"Hey..." The pink haired judges, the Cervello looked at Lilia. "I can step out now right?"

They nodded their heads in response. Within seconds Lilia vanished as Reborn smirked.

As Xanxus was beginning to realize the rings would never accept him, an incredible force of physical power slammed onto his face sending him flying to the nearby Namimori Middle School building. Kyoya was so going to be pissed.

Lilia had punched his freaking daylights out. Angered and appalled, she stood as she saw Xanxus slowly recovering from the shock, as the Varia and the Vongola Decimo Guardian's slipped into a state of utter astonishment.

"You... FUCKING JACKASS!" Stomping over to the surprised Xanxus's body, she grabbed his collar and glared at him with such intensity, emphasizing the raging feelings within her.

"HE'S YOUR FAMILY ISN'T HE? REALIZE JUST HOW IMPORTANT YOUR LOVED ONE'S ARE TO YOU, YOU DAMN SHITASSED ASSHOLE!"

Tsuna recovering from his shock, struggled to get up to rescue his childhood friend and older sister, "Li-nee-chan... r-run..." It was no use. He didn't even have the strength to swallow a Dying Will Pill, let alone save Lilia.

"LIFE WASN'T GIVEN TO YOU, SO YOU COULD KILL EVERYTHING HAPPY THAT DEFINES IT! WHAT! YOU WANNA LIVE IN YOUR STUPID MISERY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?"

Xanxus was still too shocked as he stared at the angry face of the woman clutching him. Unable to respond he simply looked on at her, the full pain of her previous punch finally settling in to his cheek.

"YOU...Y-YOU..."Lilia face of anger melted away. Bangs hid her eyes now. She sighed as her grip loosened around the collar.

SLAP!

Unexpectedly, Lilia slapped him. Another hit onto Xanxus already frozen face.

"That...was for my grandpa..."

SLAP!

"That was for hurting Tsuna...And while we're at it..."

SLAP!

"That's because of your stupidity."

The spectators continued to stare in awe. Half because of the thought that there actually existed a woman who can give multiple slaps to THE Xanxus and half because Xanxus had actually sat still and taken those aforementioned slaps.

Then, as if on cue, Xanxus snapped out of his shock. Streams of rage were literally leaking of him, as his old scars covered his face. Never in his whole life had he ever been humiliated like this.

First, he finds out he's adopted, then he's rejected by the Vongola rings and now a shitty woman... A WOMAN... had dared not only to insult him but punched AND slapped him. What the hell?!

"FUCKIN PIECE OF TRASH! HOW DARE-"

Lilia let go of the collar, unaware of his seething rage. Hands in her pockets she began walking away, then paused as if remembering something.

Tilting her head back, looked directly into his raging eyes and said, "Wake up from this stupid dream of yours. You who have nothing to protect, hurt his family and friends and only caused the sadness you think you yourself endured...will NEVER BECOME THE VONGOLA BOSS!"

"YOU TRASH! HOW WOULD YOU UNDERSTAND!" Laughing maniacally, Xanxus points out, "WHAT PROTECTION? FRIENDS? FAMILY? WHO NEEDS IT WHEN YOU HAVE POWER? THEY ARE JUST USELESS BUNCH OF TRASH ANYWAY!"

Lilia sighed, "You're right. I'll never understand. Idiots like you who only cling to the past and never moves on... I'll never understand it. But I do know, power isn't gained alone! You need friends and family supporting you, giving you hope!" Lilia looked at Xanxus.

"I can't tutor."

Reborn's eyes twinkles.

"I can't throw dynamite!"

Gokudera looks up.

"I can't even run away!"

Tsuna sweat dropped, very well knowing she was referring to him.

"I KNOW I NEED FRIENDS IN LIFE TO GET AHEAD STUPID!" Xanxus was speechless again.

"That's why...DON'T THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE SUFFERING IDIOT!"

Lilia pointed at him, eyes fearless. "COME BACK AFTER YOU GOT WHAT YOU'RE MISSING!" Then Lilia grinned, turning her pointed finger into a thumbs up. "You're always welcome back at Namimori."

* * *

It was a beautiful day in Namimori. Birds were singing…..the Namimori Anthem. Skies were clear…except for the occasional grenades and dynamites. The people were happily talking…and some running for their dear lives.

All in all, it was a great day.

Okay, fine! It was one of the _**better**_ days.

"OH SHOOT! I'M LATE!" screamed the girl to no one in particular as she ran full speed down to Namimori Junior High, who were having their annual School Festival, a festival where she was supposed to deliver 3 Marzipan Chocolate Cakes to.

Racing, she was confronted by an unexpected, "Meaoww..." It was a cat, for some inexplicable reason sat in the middle of the road, awaiting its demise. It was even licking its paws in all the cuteness it can lick in!

Meanwhile, the 1997 Limited Edition Rolls Royce (don't think that exists….just imagine a rare car…), sped down the road carrying with it, its important passengers.

A flash zipped past the front glass of the above mentioned Benz and the driver, momentarily surprised pushed down on the break sending the car out of control and eventually coming to a rest... against the mailbox.

Its residents, although uninjured due to their inhumane reflexes, was pissed.

The passengers weren't looking too happy with the current situation. The first man emerged; long white hair flowing past his shoulder gripping the collar of the poor driver who shivered under the killer haze of what he would single-mindedly would refer to as "Killer".

"VOOOOIIII! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?" barked the man as his exceedingly loud voice seemed to almost shake the neighborhood itself?

The driver cringed in fear and anxiety. "B-but s-sir...something flashed a-across the glass..."

""VOOOIIIII! WHAT? WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SEE MORON?"

"I-I don't k-know sir..."

"VOOOIIII! WHAT ARE YOU BLIND? THERES NOTHING-" A very, and I mean very expensive bottle of Tequila came flying out from behind and precisely hit the long haired jerk on his head. At the moment of impact, the man lowered his head, an opportunity for the poor driver to escape.

The man turned around with new found fury and faced his own Boss, an equally terrifying man in both visual and 6th sense wise. "VOOIII! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?"

The second man had short spiky black hair, blood red eyes, a terrifying scar running across his face with a surprisingly narrow yet hot build any dude would kill to have. He would have been quite approachable if he didn't let off an aura that basically stated, "Come near me, and I'll kill you." And with the recent situation, Xanxus looked seriously pissed.

"Hey... you guys..." The 'killer' duo', glanced up, a little taken back to see a guy wearing a sports jacket, jeans and a black and blue hat, perched at the top of the nearby electric pole, cradling a small cat in his arms. He was standing on the pole! Can you do that?

The figure jumped from the 10 ft pole, like he'd been doing this forever, and fixed his cap. "You should be careful. Pedestrians always cross this road." Apparently, there was no doubt that 'pedestrians' also meant cats.

Squalo blinked in surprise, hoping the near death experience was only making him see things.

"VOOIIII! WHO THE FUCK-" Squalo never finished as a very expensive bottle of Tequila came flying towards him. Again.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" screamed Squalo

"SHUT UP!" Xanxus literally was on fire. In fact he may have brought on a new meaning for the word, 'pissed'. Not only did he have to come to Japan, his least favorite place on earth, but had to watch as the god-damned Sawada battled it all out with another brat, Shimon-something, all without either dying.

Turning towards the familiar face, Xanxus felt an air of familiarity. Especially that stance. Yet the figure was mostly hidden behind lose clothes and a hat that covered most of his face.

"Who the fuck are you trash?"

"Who the hell are you, asshole?" retorted the figure

Squalo face palmed. "That idiot."

The guy ignored him, which was shocking to Squalo since his naturally loud voice had always made him the centre of attention since birth.

"Man, the cakes are ruined. What am I going to do now?"

"DON'T IGNORE US!"

The guy looked up and realizing they were still there and replied, "Ah, sorry, I didn'-" He paused as he saw the black haired individual pointing a gun at him, ready to fire.

"Die. Scum." growled Xanxus as he aimed fire

But again eyes widened as hat guy momentarily disappeared right in front of the duo and missed the powerful bullet and 100% accurate shot.

The duo looked momentarily stunned, unable to comprehend what the hell was going on until they turned around.

The Varia duo blinked in surprise. The figure was now clutching Xanxus' sleeve, peering down at it closely. Xanxus was so shocked he didn't know how to respond.

Squalo turned around, and snapping out of it, brought forth his sword he expertly hid inside his fake arm and ran full speed towards the target, already aiming at the head, meaning instant kill.

'How did he...'

"Are you kidding me! I am sooo late! He's going to bite me to death! HIEEEE!" cried the hat guy in utter agony, pulling at his head. Apparently, Xanxus' hand had a watch on it. A watch the hat guy had spotted with his extremely good eyesight.

Squalo almost tripped at the idiotic confession, and joined Xanxus in dumbfounded gawkment as the guy began running away.

"O-OII! WAIT YOU DAMN-"

Suddenly, the guy turned around and surprisingly began running backwards but nonetheless facing them. He started waving his arms wildly and shouting, "REMEMBER TO BE CAREFUL OKAY? OH AND... SORRY ABOUT THE CAR!"

Squalo finally snapped out of it and registered what just happened in his highly trained head, "Car? What wrong with the car- AAAHHHHH! THE CAR!" Squalo clutched his head in shock as he saw the whole front bumper had fallen off during the impact with the mailbox, not exactly safe anymore to ride anymore.

Squalo shoulders slumped, bangs covering his eyes as he clutched his right hand to a fist, as Xanxus looked at him from the corner of his eyes. "T-that trash... how dare he..." Then he lost it. "I'LL KILL'IM! I'LL DEFINITELY KILL'IM!" Squalo whipped around to face his Boss. "BOSS! LETS-" Squalo didn't finish as yet another bottle of very expensive Tequila flew at him, squarely hitting him in his face.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" declared Squalo vigorously pointing his sword at Xanxus.

Xanxus ignored the continuous fits, insults and curses his second-in-command threw at him, of course he would have incinerated the trash but right now but he had a massive hangover and 'trash number 4' (1: Tsuna 2: Tsuna's sister 3: Squalo) had just skillfully escaped, smashed his car, ordered _him_ to "drive carefully", avoided his bullets, didn't die, touched his personally made Armani suit and while we're at it, depleted his Tequila supply.

Squalo stopped his rant once he realized his Boss was flaring up in rage, no, literally, ten times more powerful than his usual amount.

Squalo cringed. "SHIT! ARE YOU FUCKING DEAF? LISTEN DAMNIT!" That exclamation earned another tequila bottle thrown at his head.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

"Tch. Felt like it."

"THEN DON'T DO IT!"

* * *

_**And the fated question: What did you guys think?**_

_**Well, i'll keep posting the chapters until i run out of ideas. See, i know how to end it...I just don't know how to get it to that point. **_

_**Reborn: Aren't you forgetting something?**_

_**Me: eh? Nani, nani?**_

_**Xanxus: Damn you...**_

_**Me: EEEEEEEEEP! XANXUS! What're you doing here?**_

_**Xanxus locked and loaded his guns.**_

_**I slowly back away. What did i do?**_

_**Xanxus: Who the hell dos she think she is to slap me?**_

_**I gulp. "Oh c'mon! It's just a fanfic!" (dodges a bullet by a hair) "A-Anyway, seeing as how, i'll be gone for a minute...I hoped you enjoy the prologue! There's more to come!"**_

_**Xanxus: What the hell are you talking about? You won't live long enough to do it! (Chases after me.**_


	2. Worst Family Reunion Ever

CHAPTER 1: The Request

"W-what the..."Lily stood stunned as she saw rows of black Rolls Royce about 2 million dollars worth lined up neatly in front of the store.

"Don't tell me..." she muttered as she ran inside, promptly ignoring the looks and murmurs of the neighbor's.

Timotheo sat inside, his loyal Guardians (since it's customary as per Vongola tradition for every Boss and Primary Candidate to have 6 other members who protect them from the shadows with their lives.) ready at all times to jump into action behind him. He took a sip of his tea. But even the great Nono of the Vongola and Boss of the world's most powerful mafiaso couldn't hide his shock as the door burst open and he saw his 21 year old granddaughter flying in the air only to land on him in an epic version of what she would call, a hug.

"GRANDPA!"

Shock can't even describe what his face morphed into.

The Guardians blinked still never getting used to it. 'What just happened?' Then, they sighed. It was like this every time.

"Hello Lilia. You are looking more and more like your mother everyday."

By now, the hat had flown off, letting her braided red-rusty/ orange hair fall plus bringing her emerald green eyes to light.

"So what're you doing here grandpa?" Lilia asked with a smile. She brought out full table of drinks, pastries and cakes to feed the whole 20 men the Vongola 9th had brought over. In the Akamouto family, hospitality is a must. Well they do own a pastry shop.

"I wanted to see you and ... ask you a favor." Setting down her tea cup she looked at him straight in the eye, probing him to continue.

"I want you to be a maid."

Lilia lifted her eyebrows, confused. "Why? To who?"

"Take it as a request from an ailing old man. And... to the Vongola's Personal Assassination Squad, the Varia."

"Don' know them!"

Leaning back on his chair, Timotheo got ready to explain, "You met them during the Vongola Succession Games. Also….the boy who fought with the Flames of Wrath? You know…Xanxus?"

"Xaru?"

"No...Xanxus..."

"Xaru, it is."

Timotheo sighed. 'Then again, she's got to get something from her father too.' That meant her extreme lack of NOT wanting to remember important details. It's complicated.

"You're still not telling me something grandpa...Why me?"

Nono smiled proud. 'She's just like you Marina.'. He made eye contact with Lilia. "Perceptive as always. My son, Xanxus is the Boss of Varia.

"… I don't like him."

Nono sighed at the child's honest reply in the matter. "It's understandable. Yes, he did commit a heinous crime. And I would not be a fool to ask for your forgiveness on his part. But…..He's technically your uncle you know. Your mother... asked me to do it. She wanted you to do this for her."

Lilia paused looking up, "Mom ...did? But why didn't she do it? Isn't he her brother?"

"No."

Lilia eyes widened.

"He's...Xanxus is adopted. The boy was born with a rare gift only the 2nd Vongola Boss had. His mother deluded herself into believing that I was Xanxus father, even though I have never seen her in my life. And the mother and child had such an expectant look, I couldn't refuse and lied saying he was indeed my son. Ever since I had always thought of him as my son, so have my family. But he was quite lonely but eventually became fond of Marina, well she was the eldest. Strong minded, unyielding, independent, compassionate... just like you." Lilia smiled, sadly. "But when he found out he wasn't even related to me, that I took him in out of pity, Marina had already ran away from home. He became lonely again, with no one but himself he could trust. Before I knew it, he had changed so much and I couldn't bring myself to hurt him so... He killed all those who got in his way and took over the Varia Faction, becoming an independently strong force."

"Does that still make him my uncle?"

Nono laughed. "I suppose not." He was a little impressed at Lilia rare ability to lighten anyone's mood. "Once he found out, he completely cut off ties with me. Although he still follows me like he used to when he was little." Nono smiled a little sadly, as he recalled the fond memories. "I suppose those were... happier times..."

"No. I refuse."

Timotheo smiled, sighing. "Well, I knew you would refuse anyway." He inwardly sighed, relieved. 'So she did refuse.'

He looked around the small yet successful cafe with pride. "She'd be proud you know." Lilia looked up, surprised. "You have worked so hard, supporting you and your own family and protecting this place. Before I even knew it, you had grown up so much." For a 70 year old Mafia Don, even he could tear up sometimes.

Blinking she crossed her arms as she smiled. "I know." Then she snapped out of her reverie. Taking the empty cups and plates, she walked around as another thought hit her.

"How is a Maid….of all things going to help your precious son?"

"I don't know. It was your mother's idea. Knowing her, she wouldn't have said something this outrageous if it wasn't supposed to work."

"You sure he isn't one of those Lolita Types? The weird people obsessed with girls in cat and maid costumes?"

The Guardians couldn't help but snicker. This was the girl's genuine curiosity.

It's been a few hours since Nono had left. Lilia was at home, a little depressed and wondering what had brought the Gramps to ask such a question.

Sitting down, she looked at the small funeral shrine of her parents, Kenji Akamouto and Marina Akamouto. And she also remembered how they died.

She was only 5 years old when she learned she had a grandfather, in Italy. When her dad, a pattissier was invited to teach at a famous Sweets Culinary School, they decided it was time Marina had made up with her father.

Wealth, beauty, power, and an equally powerful will, Marina was the envy of all within the Vongola. She was a strong woman, and the original successor as the next head. But she hated the Mafia World, with its lies and corruption. Feeling like she was trapped in a black void, tired of the amount of death that accumulated, she ran away. Kenji, a young pattissier who was just about to open his new store in a City near the Vongola Main Headquarters, was surprised to find a beautiful Italian woman half dead in front of his store. They fell in love and Kenji named his store in Italy as Citrine Cafe, because oranges, tangerines and citruses were Marina's favorite fruit. They eventually got married and Lilia was born in Italy.

But in order to escape the rival Mafiaso that kept coming after them, they moved back to Japan with the 2 year old Lilia. Until on the day the Vongola and Marina had made up, Marina died protecting Lilia by enemy hands, while they were touring the city.

She still felt the warm drops of blood and tears that had fallen on her face as she looked up to see her mother bent, shielding her from whatever that had shot the multiple bullets in her.

Years went by and her mother was buried in Italy, the place where she grew up in. Lilia went to France then Italy to train as a pattisiere herself.

But on her 18th year, while exiting the airport to visit her mother's grave on her death anniversary, when she got a call from her only aunt Midori, that her father had died in a plane crash that morning on route to Italy. And oddly enough, it was raining that day. It was weird; it was as if the skies could hear her pain.

She had lost her father on the same day she had lost her mother.

Lilia squeezed her eyes shut. Maybe to block out the painful memories or to prevent tears from forming.

Standing up, she walked over to an old picture that was taken of the day she had been born, a day her parents had both quoted as, "the noisiest day, ever." Dusting of imaginary dust, she looked at the several pictures. Suddenly, she recalled an old memory.

_"Hey mom! Look, look! I found a little puppy. He's really hurt!"_

_"Lilia! I've told you a thousand times to not bring in stray animals and people. Sheesh, you're just like you're father."_

_Kenji popped up from the living room. "Hey, I heard that. And I'm actually proud of that trait. Thanks to that, we met, we ran away, got married, had a child-"_

_"Okay, okay..." Marina blushed, still hopelessly in love with her husband who accepted her with open arms even with his life constantly at risk. _

_"Come over here, Lili. Let's see what we can do about the puppy." inquired her dad smiling_

_A few days later, the dog named Pedro had died, accidently hit while trying to limp across the road carrying Lilia's doll which he had stolen before, to return it._

_Marina walked over and kneeled beside the crying child, stroking her head reassuringly. "Lili...You must not cry. I'm sure Pedro would prefer if you sent him off with your wonderful smile."_

_"But, but..."_

_"You must stay strong Lili. I'm sure when you saved Pedro, you must have given him immense happiness. You let him experience trust, friendship and saved him from loneliness. I'm sure when he was happy he met you."_

_"It's... (_hicup_)... all...(_hicup_) ...my fault! ..._(hicup_!)" _

_"Lili, listen carefully. It's not your fault. No one blames you. Pedro had died thinking of you. He died protecting you, so don't blame yourself. He'll still be sad if you keep crying you know. He would want you to smile everyday for him, and live."_

_"O-kay..."_

_Marina smiled a little sadly, "That's why, Lili, you have so much happiness inside you. You have always made others happy, just by being you. I'm sure he was saved from it, he was thankful. And one day I hope you can share that immense happiness of yours with someone else…"_

_Lilia nodded. She didn't know what her mother was talking about so she could only nod in confusion._

_"So what're you waiting for?" asked her dad. "Smile!"_

Back then she didn't know what they had meant, but reminiscing about it now, she finally understood it. "That's just like her teach me everything the hard way..."

Swiftly placing the frame back down, she turned and exited the room, her mind made up.

"Don't worry mom. I definitely won't let you down."


	3. Let the Adventure Start!

CHAPTER 2: The Debrief

The inside of the hotel was in one word, spectacular. Well, it is a five star, first class hotel.

The Vongola Nono, was quietly sipping his tea as his Right hand man, read off the daily schedule for the day. He was about to answer back until the door slammed open, with monstrous force.

Nono choked on his tea. "W-What is-"

"GRANDPA! I'LL DO IT!"

Blinking, the security, Guardians and Nono sat in shock.

Ganauche trembled in fury, "CAN'T YOU DO IT MORE DELICATELY?"

Walking in all the while ignoring the Guardian shouting off at her, she crouched cutely in front of her grandpa and smiled wide.

"I'll do it grandpa. I'll be a maid."

Nono simply looked down, former humor gone. "What made you change your mind, child?"

"Because…" She tilted her head. "I want to share a bit of it too. With him."

Curious and confused, Timotheo put down his teacup. "Share what?"

Looking up again, she smiled her infamous carefree, happy-go-lucky smile, "Happiness. I want him to be smile in happiness too."

Eyes widening, Timotheo could only stare in wonder at his precious and only blood relative in front of him. Regaining his composure he watched as Lilia took a seat on the couch opposite from him.

Everyone in the room was listening now. Indeed the previous proclamation had left many stunned. Some recovered and was trying very hard to scoff or snort at the impossibility of the whole idea.

'Right. That bastard smiling.'

'Happiness ain't in his dictionary, Lilia-chan.'

"He…."

The room snapped out of their individual thoughts, curios as to what the innocent adult would say.

"He looked so lonely…"

Well, that wasn't what they expected. The biggest understatement of the century, people. He is the Boss of the World's Top most crime syndicate dealing in Assassination there was. Loneliness, is the least of his worries.

But Timotheo could again only look at his precious granddaughter in bewilderment. "Why do you say that child?" If he recalled, Lilia had only met Xanxus for the short moment during their stay in Japan when Lilia there had left several in attendance in absolute shock thanks to her crazy antics.

"Hmnnnn…." Thought Lilia thinking it over. "I don't know. Honestly, I can't even remember how he looked like…"

Several sweat dropped. How can anyone forget Xanxus' face? It's too traumatic and frankly terrifying to do so….. remembering and forgetting I mean.

"Lilia, you know we love you as a daughter and we would never go against a decision you had made but that ….brat is not someone that could be handled that easily."

Another Guardian walked up nodding. He crossed his arms as he leaned on the door frame, "He conquered the Varia faction when he was only 16. Not only that he even went against No-"

"Silence." Stated Nono, breaking the oncoming comment, "What's done is done." Then, calming down, Nono peered at Lilia, "Are you sure, child? Although your determination and courage is admirable, you are still stepping into a world you may never be able to leave."

"I know." Lilia smiled, as she looked up. Then she erased off her smile and replaced it with a serious and in my opinion persuasive look. "I've made up my mind, jii-chan."

But the Nono wasn't going to give up. He had been worried for his son. He knew at the rate Xanxus was going, he would lose the child which had crawled into the old Mafia Boss' heart some 15 years ago. He would lose his son. And he had already lost enough of his precious family already, and he was determined not to lose no more.

Which also included Lilia. So even though he had remembered Marina telling him on the day they had reconciled, that if anything where to go wrong with Xanxus (since Marina had seen it coming), make the boy meet her daughter, Lilia.

He had still decided to give it a shot, even if he had all intention to keep Lilia away from the Mafia world to protect her. That's why he was secretly relieved when she had refused the offer.

"What about your family? Your aunt? The shop?"

Blinking Lilia paused, "They can take care of themselves and the shop." Then, Lilia stood up. Surprising everyone, she held a peace sign close to her cheek as she showed her toothy grin, "I'll be fine grandpa. I'll definitely do it! Leave him to me!"

Sighing in defeat, Timotheo could only look on with hope. That was her specialty after all, giving people hope. And she was uncannily good at it.

"Please be careful….." he muttered, now either bothered or relieved

Lilia, who had now walked over to a sitting Nono, once again flashed her smile, "Got it! Bye Jii-chan! Love you!" And with a hug and a quick kiss on the old man's forehead, she was out the door before any of the Guardians could stop her.

Timotheo's right hand man stepped forward, "You know….You could have stopped her."

The Boss sighed as he sunk further into the chair, "I know….But she wouldn't have listened anyway. Better to have her with me than against her."

The Guardian smiled a knowing smile. "You mean you couldn't say no to her?"

"Yeah." Nono smiled, fondly. "Something like that."

The Right hand man, smiled in agreement.

"Bring me a paper, pen and my seal."

"Are you opting for the old method of communicating with _him_? What if _he_ doesn't agree?"

"Of course not." Stated Nono as he looked up from writing the letter, "I know _he_ won't listen to me. So I'm sending _him_ a head's up about my visit, tomorrow. Have the flight ticket ready."

"Understood, Nono."

"By the way…"

The Nono and the others looked up at the Guardian in question.

"How did she get in? I thought there was security surrounding the area."

With that, the room paled.

"She didn't…."

"I think she did….."

"I know she did….."

"Hey you guys….." The final Guardian entered, having returned from accomplishing his previous task. "Any reason as to why the entire front lobby of the hotel is destroyed?"

Everyone slumped in response.

Nono could only sigh, 'More paperwork…'

The group, consisting of Timotheo, Lilia and Dino, were speeding down the Italian roads. Romario, Dino's right hand man was currently driving. The Cavallone were called to assist in dropping Lilia off. And the Nono had stubbornly insisted, he also had a right to see his granddaughter off. At least part way, since the Vongola HQ was situated half toward the Varia HQ.

Dino noticed the tension emanating throughout the car. He secretly glanced at the female in question via the small front mirror of the expensive Ferrari. Although the girl showed great optimism, with a likable personality, Dino still wondered why she had even agreed.

"You know. It's not too late to back out."

Lilia opened her eyes from her fail attempt at trying to sleep. She recently just found out she can't handle airplane food. (I can't help it! Airplane food is crap!) Moving only her pupils so that they peered straight into the front mirror where both hers and Dino's eyes connected.

"No. I made up my mind already. I'm not going back until I know I did my job."

Dino, slightly impressed by the girl's strong conviction, smiled. "I suppose you have a point. I still don't understand why you agreed though."

"Hmnnnn...me neither."

"Wha-"

"I really want to keep my promise to mom. Other than that, everything else I'm leaving it up to chance."

Dino stared stunned. As controlled as he was, even he couldn't hold back the nonchalant attitude the girl gave off.

"Do you understand the danger you're stepping into? The Varia is the most lethal, cold blooded assassin troupes existing within the vast Mafia network. The reason they have survived this long is precisely for those very reasons! They have 50 A-Ranked members each at their disposal and have never failed a mission in their lives! And you're leaving it up to chance?"

Blinking, Lilia stared back impressed. "Wow. They must be pretty strong if they have so many people under them."

"How can you act so relaxed? Normal people can't even coexist with them! They're not human anymore! They're the World's greatest!" Dino was literally screaming. How could he just stand back and watch a woman literally walk herself into death's door?

Dino was silenced with a look. Lilia was looking at him with an indifferent face. But it was not one of someone who was relaxed, it was someone of who was determined to see through her task, whatever the risk may be.

"World's greatest, huh?" The hat Lilia was wearing, an old sports hat she had received from her father, hid her expression.

Nono who had been silently watching and listening in on the one sided argument, glanced at Lilia beside him.

Smirking, Lilia looked up slightly showing the edge of her eyes from underneath the hat, "Well then, isn't that interesting? If normal people can't live with them, then I'll just have to become the best too."

Staring back, Dino's eyes widened, "W-What are you talking about? Haven't you been listening to me at all? You might die!"

But Lilia tilted back the hat fully and grinned up at Dino. "Don't worry. I've decided."

The group stared in confusion. Dino, in anger and confusion. "Huh?"

"I'm the woman who's going to be the Greatest Maid in the World!...And if I die trying…..at least I tried!"

Romario, Dino and even Nono stood dumbfounded. There it was. Lilia's unmeasured conviction. They were so shocked they couldn't even respond as they watched in frozen wonder at the woman in the car beside them.

Lilia looked at them with such an unwavering confidence, with a cool grin and beaming eyes, the three men well experienced in the mafia world, and having seen many things, could only settle back down and think over the situation all over again.

Inwardly, Nono could only smile. 'Greatest Maid in the World huh? Maybe you can do it after all, Lilia.'

Dino, sat back down, blinking really hoping he wasn't seeing or hearing things. 'Why is the Mafia world filled with so many crazy people?…..even Nono's granddaughter…..'

Driving, Romario was listening to the conversation but the girl's recent exclamation had even left him a little shaken up. For some reason, he truly believed this girl could tame the unruly group that was the Varia. 'Times have certainly changed. Maybe it's about time, the Mafia world as well.'

Dino gulped. Sweat began forming on his temple.

The foreboding Castle in the distance, supported on the edge of a cliff, surrounded by an immense acre of a forest so thick, no man is said to come out of it alive.

He really hated the Varia Headquarters. It scared the living hell out of him!

"M-Maybe we s-shouldn't do th-"

"SO COOOOL!"

Dino fell over dramatically, at the girl's exclamation. "Lilia-chan? A-Are you talking about the Castle?"

"Huh?" Lilia looked at him, while on the floor crouching…..beside a very familiar looking robot, just at the tip of the forest entrance.

Again, Dino fell over dramatically. He shot back up and yelled, "YOU WERE AMAZED BY THE GOLA MOSCA?"

Blinking Lilia stood up as Timotheo chuckled, walking behind him was Romario carrying a travel bag.

Suddenly she grinned, excitement peeking at her eyes. "Hey, hey, hey Dino!" Lilia leaned over to the front where Dino's stood, "Do you think... they have robot assassins there?"

"NO! OF COURSE THEY DO! IT'S STANDING RIGTH IN FRONT OF YOU!"

Blinking, Lilia stared at him poker faced. Then her jaw dropped, "NO KIDDING?!"

"NO DUH!"

Again, Romario only sighed, 'He's such a child.'

Timotheo only smiled again. To think, Lilia would rid of Dino's fear, so quickly at that too. 'Indeed, that child is something.'

He chuckled as he watched them argue, or Dino shout or try to shout some sense into Lilia only to fail.

"You know, I think I can understand why you decided to send her. She's ….. different. Isn't that right, Nono?" Romario said watching the ongoing scene

Timotheo smiled again in response, "You're right. This girl has a rare gift, a rare occurrence here in the Mafia world."

Looking ahead at the one sided childish argument, Romario focused on Lilia, "Lets see whether it would work, ….on _them_."

"I'm sorry, I can only lead you up until here." Dino said as Lilia began looking around. They had finally stopped their argument, when Dino concluded that Lilia was just too much of an idiot to put sense into.

Nono had left shortly after, which left Dino, Romario and Lilia at the foot of the mountain where the Castle looked down at them.

"No, no. This is perfect. I get to explore the Italian woods as well." Lilia glanced up at the dark, foreboding castle that perched sturdily on a cliff high up on the mountainous and undoubtedly perilous thick forest that surrounded a good 5 km radius of it. "Wow. That's an epic castle."

Romario walked up, sighing as he placed Lilia bag next to her. "Don't judge by it's appearance. Although, technically you should because the aura is pretty deadly. But seeing as how you're immune to it, I'll stick to my previous statement. On the other hand, young lady? Are you sure you only need one bag's worth of stuff?"

Walking over, Lilia easily picked up the travel bag and swung it over her shoulder. "Yeah. I don't know how long I'll be here, so I don't want to end up carrying useless stuff and I don't have much stuff anyway. The bare necessities are enough to survive."

Dino sweat dropped. 'You're already treating it like a survival game, aren't you?'

"But I don't feel comfortable leaving a girl alone when it's almost night. And I don't have authorization to step onto Varia lands-" began Dino

Lilia walked over and peeked over a nearby bush, curious as to what lies beyond as she interrupted him, "I'll be fine." Looking back she grinned, holding her hands up indicating her strength. "I may not look it, but I'm pretty strong."

'Where does she get that much confidence from?' thought Dino sighing, knowing it was useless to deal with her type. Unfortunately, he had learned that the hard way.

"Then at least take a little advice." Dino gazed at Lilia serious, as he got down to explaining. "Listen up Lilia-chan. The Varia is an umbrella."

"Why an umbrella?"

"It's a metaphor. Shut up and listen."

"Got it."

"What I meant was, at the bottom are the Regular Officers, they regulate daily Varia work which also involves low level Assassination. Above them they have superiors. And as the rank increases and the closer we get to the top we meet _them_. Varia's Strongest and deadly, the Captains. That is whom you will be living with. Note that these are the elite among elite within the Varia. In fact they can't even be considered a human, as I've mentioned before. They are so strong, they-WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GOING?"

Some time along the explanation, Lilia had managed to wander into the forest. She turned back at Dino.

Clearing his throat, Dino continued. "Fine then. Just know, don't get on their bad side." Narrowing is eyes, Dino seriously gave off a peculiar aura, "Especially Xanxus."

"Got it."

'WHAT A CHILL RESPONSE!' thought Dino dramatically, as his eyes popped out. Then he shook his head from side to side as he sighed, exhausted with just talking to her. 'I can't handle her type.' He began walking over to his Ferrari, Romario silently following.

"DINOOO!" Dino turned around, hoping maybe the girl had changed her mind. The sight made his eyes wide. Because there the most beautiful angel he had ever seen (probably the only one he has seen) waving at him with a smile that could shake the very heavens itself in happiness. "THANK YOU!"

Lilia's 'heavenly', not to mention feminine smile, drove Dino nuts. He stood frozen and scrambled into the car, almost tripping on the car door itself. He was so stunned, he couldn't even utter the words to say goodbye to her. Even old man Romario, stumbled into the car, generally shocked. They sat there, blushes still evident in their face.

"Hey, Romario...you...you saw that too, right?"

"Yeah... I saw it... Quite a shocker. That's one killer smile."

"Good. I thought I fell down too many times..."

"What? You like her?"

"WHAT?! I DON'T LIKE HER. THAT WAS A TEMPORARY REACTION TO AN UNSEEN SMILE BY AN UNFAMILIAR INDIVIDUAL."

"Sure, whatever.

"You don't sound convinced."

"No, I am. I've been serving the Calvallone since your father's time. I just wanted to make sure, the lineage continued."

"WHA? SHUT UP YOU OLD BASTARD." Dino said, obviously embarrassed. "You know, for an old man, you sure are nosy."

Romario secretly snickered, 'This is too much fun to stop now.' "Well, at my age, I would have kids running around me. But it looks like that will never happen." Again, Romario inwardly snickered.

"WHA...YOU-...Wait...YOU'RE LAUGHING AREN'T YOU! YOU'RE DEFINITELY LAUGHING!" accused Dino, again embarrassed.

Romario, a former Mafia Guardian, put on his poker face as he continued to laugh at his young Master on the inside. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

"YOU LIAR!"


	4. Playing Tag with Professional Assassins

CHAPTER 4: The Meeting Again

"HEEEEEEYYY! COME DOWN FOR DINNER YOU SHITTY FUCKERS!" yelled the Strongest who just also happens to be the Second in Command to the Varia Clan.

"~~~But Squ~~~You killed our chef yesterday." That was Lussuria, the gay (Literally!) one of the Varia, who loved pink frills, heavy perfume, Gothic dresses etc. "You know, for making a seafood based dinner."

"WHAT? WHEN DID I DO THAT? TCH! FINE, CALL THE MAIDS TO COOK THE FOOD!"

"You fired them all for not washing the blood stain of your clothes." stated Mammon, the genius illusionist of the Varia calmly, as he walked in and sat down at the table. He was among the Legendary Arcobaleno, called Viper but within the Mafia Network, he was known as Mammon.

"Shishishsi..." snickered the sadistic prince, in that same Cheshire cat smile, hidden with the various tricks and secrets."The Prince is hungry...get me food damn peasants." Behind Mammon was Belphagor. The sadistic, evil 16 year old prince who murdered his own older twin brother just because he hated his brothers guts.

"VOOIII! MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN FOOD! 'SIDES WE'LL JUST HAVE THE SHITTY GARDENERS COOK FOR US..."

"Yeah not going to work." Levi, the oldest and the most disgustingly loyal to Xanxus, sucking up to him every chance he got. "The Boss felt bored yesterday so he used them as target practices. He was so wonderful, as expected of the Boss."

"SO WE HAVE NO ONE! DAMN THAT FUCKING BOSS! I OUTTA STICK SOMETHING DOWN HIS THROAT-"

"No." Flan, the newest and the youngest 10 year old member entered. "The workers are so scared of everyone's ugly faces; they'd rather die than serve you." Knives whipped passed and hit Flan squarely in his back. "Ow~~. Bel-senpai, that hurts. Please don't hurt me." _stated_ Flan, monotonously with **no** hint of fear, pain or emotion evident in his singing voice. How he is even alive after the stab, I do not know people. Actually, I lie, I do. He has a genetic deficiency where he feels no pain, apparently.

"Shishishi...Your hat was annoying me."

"But you gave it to me. Sempai."

"Shut it!" Another round of small knives flew at Flan, again stabbing Flan in the back.

"Owww."

"VOIIII! WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE GONNA DO THEN?" Suddenly, a glass of champagne from who knows where came flying and hit Squalo square in his head. "WOULD YOU STOP IT WITH THE FLYING ALCOHOL ALREADY!?" accused Squalo as he turned around to see Xanxus already seated at the Head of the table.

"SHUT IT...SCUM." Lusuria had to personally hold back Squalo and his continuous stream of insults, curses and swearing Squalo kept repeating.

So, Xanxus wasn't in a good mood. Actually, in his case, his mood was 10x worse than his usual bad mood. Ever since Nono's visit, the day itself seemed to piss him off.

_"So...what the hell do you want old- bastard?" inquired Xanxus, in his usually pissed off mood_

_Smiling at his son's typical reaction the 9th answered, "I'm getting you a maid."_

_Xanxus raised his eyebrows, not a mission, not a war, not an emergency-take-out-Sawada-Tsunayoshi plan, but only the news of a maid._

_Oh joy. Somebody hit him across the face._

_"I decide the people who work for me. No maid of yours works here. If that's all get up and get lost." Oh god! He still had a hangover from last night._

_On cue, Xanxus got up, ready to fetch himself another shot of Tequila to calm the rage in him. Really, seeing the oh-so-happy face of the damn old man first thing in the morning was driving him nuts. In Xanxus language, nuts meant pissed._

_"Xanxus. This was not my decision. It was Marina's." Xanxus eyes widened in surprise at the name. "You know I can't refuse her."_

_Xanxus was again, literally on fire. There were only a few people who could do that to him. A) the Stupid Onna who had dared harm his perfect facial complexion some months ago at the Battle for the Rings and B) His Shitty older Sister who had abandoned him, for some jackass she had met. _

_Completely soaked his Storm/ Sky Flames, the Varia Boss released a wave of his infamous Flames of Wrath onto the Vongola 9th's personal protection squad. _

_Glaring with the power of a god, Xanxus snarled, "Don't fuckin' mention her ever again. And don't you dare...DON'T YOU DARE LET THAT MAID IN HERE!"_

_Yeah the Boss was mad. I mean who wouldn't be? He had considered Marina as his own sister, the one person in the world who could understand him. He had felt completely betrayed when she ran away, leaving him all alone again with no one. Once again people simply just left him. _

_Timotheo calmly looked at Xanxus, ignoring the massive hole and injured people behind him. All traces of kindness gone and Xanxus slightly paused, taken back by the Nono's incredible pressure. _

_Slowly, Nono got up and walked to the door. _

_"She's my granddaughter, even if you are my son, if she is to come to any harm, you'll see a very new side of me Xanxus."_

'Like fuck I care about your damn warning. Tch. Shitty bastard.' Thought Xanxus as he strode into the dining room, taking a seat right at the head.

Instantaneously, the Varia quietened down and took their respective seats surrounding the table.

Suddenly, Lusuria's highly trained ears perked up. "Hmnnn…."

Noticing Lusuria's tone of worry, Squalo spoke up, "What is it, trash?"

"Hmnnnn, well…..I've been hearing rather ….loud and ….vulgar noises coming from outside."

"Now that you mention it…." Began Squalo as he heard distant sounds of screaming and explosions

"Shishishi…the Prince had been bored lately….shishishi…"

"You're always bored, Bel-sempai…."

Levi stood up so abruptly, he knocked down his chair. "AN INTRUDER?"

"Sit down, you idiot. It's probably no one of importance." Insisted Mammon. "Besides who would have the courage to take all of us on by recklessly and idiotically charging in here of all places!"

"Uuuuuughh…." Levi begrudgingly sat back down. Damn. And he really wanted to show off to his Boss too.

"Hey, is it just me…." Began Squalo "…or are the screams getting louder…..and closer…."

"B-Boss…." Began Lusuria, sweating a bit now

"…." Was all Xanxus said as he yawned shortly after

Sighing at their Boss' reaction, the table inwardly groaned. They should have known. Their Boss would only do something like this if he was completely uninterested. Something he definitely was.

"Oi, Mammon?" Mammon peeked at the sadistic Prince, "Can't you use Thoughtograpy or something?"

"Hmph! Of course I would. But this is hardly a threat."

Bel smiled wider, and not in a good way. "Shishishi….What's this? The great Arcobaleno doesn't know does he? Shishishishi…"

That ticked him off.

Mammon fully turned towards Bel, "Don't be stupid. Idiots like you would never understand such complicated science anyway."

Bel popped a vein, "What did you say?" Shortly after, knives and illusions were seconds away from war.

Silently cursing again, Xanxus slammed the table and the bickering Varia members quieted down.

"The Outside Unit should have taken care of it by now." Noted Lusuria

"We should kill them all off, for lack in passion for their work." Suggested Levi

"What the shit are you saying?" said Squalo

Suddenly, a Varia Member burst in, slamming open the door. In that instant, the Varia Captains stood up ready for combat.

"VOOOIII! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON OUTSIDE?"

"S-sir! We have an intruder!"

"Shishsishi...What? Just one?" Bel sat back down. "Get lost, peasant! The Prince doesn't have time to deal with useless trash."

"B-but sir! This woma-" Poor Varia member never finished as a huge wrecking ball burst in through the dining room, shocking the Varia members.

That's right, readers. You read right.

A huge wrecking ball crashed through the very walls of the Varia mansion and protruded through everything, coming to an unforeseen stop inches from the dining table.

Xanxus momentarily looked, and then resumed ignoring whatever that had caused it.

Momments of silence followed.

"What a wild entrance." commented Flan

"No. that's really not the point here." Remarked Levi, calming down

Then all hell broke loose.

"GYAAAAA-HOLY SHIT! THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE? BOSS? ARE YOU OKAY?"

"VOOOOOOOIIIIII! DAMN THOSE FUCKING USELESS TRASH! WHAT ARE WE PAYING THEM FOR IF THEY CAN'T EVEN STOP THIS?"

"Looks like we have a break in."

"That stained glass window had cost a fortune." On the other hand, Mammon was fuming. Well, he was fuming despite _looking_ calm.

"Ah!" The members looked up towards the sound. They looked up to see a girl jumping off the ball and landing with surprising reflexes.

Lussuria again snapped out of it as he broke the mood first, "I-Is that a girl?"

Squalo blinked, "Oi? Isn't that the girl that was with the trashy brats?"

"Shishishi….Decimo's sister we had a pleasure of meeting at the Succession Battle? I think so."

Xanxus looked up, an air of familiarity washing over him. 'That style….'

"Are people who crash into the fortified House of Operations to a top notch crime agency dealing in Underground Assassination and all elimination of Vongola enemy under radar…considered to be human?" finished Flan, as he nonchalantly sucked on a lollipop. Really, he could care less about this.

The girl stared at the Varia.

The Varia stared at the girl.

They were staring at each other in such shock, wonder and curiosity neither noticed the calamity of the situation at all!

"I..." began the girl, as she blinked still staring at the men before her

The Varia tensed, preparing for an attack. Of course, they are Assassin's before they were house hosts.

" ...I think I overdid it." She finished, in a very guilty tone

The Varia fell comically, "YOU REALIZE THAT NOW!"

"VOOI! WHO ARE YOU, YOU FUCKIN ONNA?"

The Onna in question bent down to pick up the hat that had flown off during her "wild entrance". Her relatively short dark orange hair reaching up just past her shoulders and her bright Emerald green eyes, was something to see. Don't get me wrong. Her hair was sticking up in all directions, her body covered in mud, scratches and remnants of the forest she had just recently bravely conquered. She wore a sports outfit, with a sports jacket and track pants rolled up to her knees.

"How rude! It's only common courtesy to introduce your selves before asking others for other people's names." She finished, triumphantly as she pointed at them, accusingly

Squalo twitched. "Fine!... I AM SUPERBIA SQUALO. SECOND IN COMMAND TO THE VONGOLA 9TH'S PERSONAL ASSASSINATION SQUAD!"

Girl stared, poker faced while crossing her arms, "That's nice."

The crew waited for a response, seconds turning into minutes.

Then, Squalo exploded, "INTRODUCE YOURSELF TOO!"

"Oh me?" The Girl grinned as she pointed to herself, other hand already on her hip, "I'm The Varia's New Maid. Yoroshiku!" Then, surprisingly she bowed in Japanese.

Squalo blinked along with Levi. Together they watched, and then replied together, "Oh, I see. The Varia's Personal Maid. That makes sense. Nice to meet you." Both Squalo and Levi politely bowed.

.

.

.

Crickets didn't even want to chirp anymore.

.

.

.

The Varia's jaw dropped.

"BLOODY HELL?" screamed Squalo clutching his head. What was he doing?

"Tch. You got completely dragged along to her pace." Admitted Levi, trying to save himself.

"What the shit are you saying trash? You went along with it too!"

Levi twitched, parabolas already in hand, "WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

"YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? SHIT FACE?"

And as Squalo and Levi fought it off, trying to save themselves from the embarrassment, Lusuria again asked the obvious question.

"But the Boss never told us about a new maid."

"Well isn't this interesting..."

"Tch. More annoying people around the Boss." Admitted Levi

Looks like his fight with the Commander was interrupted with a familiar throwing of the tequila by a certain Boss.

"Hmph. She looks like she doesn't even own a penny. "

Flan chose just that moment to intervene, "I'm hungry... " And Bel's knives hit Flan in the back, almost in beautiful harmony.

Squalo in turn, whirled around to meet the yawning face of Xanxus, "HEY YOU SHITTY BOSS! EXPLAIN THE HELL IS GOING ON?"

"By the way..." began the girl, earning everyone's attention

The Varia turned around.

" ...who are you guys?"

The Varia fell again.

"_WE'RE_ THE VARIA DAMN IT!"

This time the Girl's face was etched in morbid shock. "EEEHHHHH! T-THEN..." She looks at Xanxus who was pointing a gun at her. "That black suit, ... t-those guns... you're..."

The Varia waited for the girl to finish; to see her quiver in fear.

"...XARU!" she finished proudly

The Varia fell while others faces paled or jaw dropped. No one mispronounces Xanxus' name. Xanxus exploded in a light of fury and ignited his X-Guns ready to blast the mongrel who dare mock His name.

Suddenly she laughed out loud, the Varia temporarily stunned. "Wow! What are the chances? I thought I'd be wandering in that forest forever. But I gotta say….." She gazed at each member. "You all have really weird hairstyles!" Again she laughed, wholeheartedly, not an inch of selfish intent in her.

Everyone, correction! Every Varia popped a number of veins. "You….."

"You! Too long!" She said pointing to Squalo. He jumped back startled…..almost!

"Too multicolored!" She points at Lusuria.

"Too ….uhh….pointy?"

Levi explodes, "ARE YOU MOCKING ME?"

"Too much!" She points at Bel, ignoring Levi.

"Too …mysterious!" She points at Mammon

Again, Levi explodes, "THAT'S NOT A GOOD ARGUMENT!" Maybe he had issues with his hair?

"Too ….. Oh! Cool hat! I like your hair!" The intruder flashed him a thumbs up.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Really, Squalo couldn't handle her anymore.

He took out his sword and pointed at her. "VOOOIIIII! I REMEMBER YOU! YOU'RE THAT SAWADA-TRASH'S SISTER-"

"SHUT UP!" Lilia silenced the loud shark, with a look of rage. Pointing, she clenched her fist by her side.

"DON'T CALL MY LITTLE BROTHER TRASH JERK!" Lilia yelled, out completely serious. "Who the hell do you think you are? I'll kick your ass." She claimed, calming down, anger still evident.

Xanxus' eyes widened in recognition. How could he forget? This was the same woman who had punched and humiliated him in front of all the Vongola. Those Emerald eyes burning in rage, cracking knuckles and the intense murderous aura she emitted was all the proof he needed.

"Kick my ass? I'm the man who's going to become the Greatest Swordsmen in the World and you think a fucking girly trash can take me?" Squalo laughed out loud. "Admit it! You're just showing off aren't you?"

"DON'T LAUGH!" yelled Lilia, comically furious. "I have a name! Lilia! Akamouto Lilia! If you're the man who's going to become the Greatest Swordsmen in the World, then I'm the woman who's going to become the Greatest Maid in the World!" Lilia yelled out proud, as she pointed to herself.

Staring in wonder at the proclamation, the Varia stood secretly contemplating.

Squalo didn't notice it. Nor did Lilia, as they were too busy bickering with each other. But the rest of the Varia did, and they flinched in realization.

Old scars were appearing on Xanxus face. He sat wordlessly paying no heed to the argument, as he had found no reason to do so before until now.

The previously heated argument between the elite Varia Commander and Lilia died down as they both realized the slightly hotter than usual temperature in the room.

With a sudden epiphany of a sort, Squalo instinctively turned around to meet Xanxus silently fuming like a volcano moments before its eruption except this was a human seated at the dining table.

"O-Oi…..B-Boss, what the fuck are you-?

Xanxus slowly retrieved his guns again, and he pointed them at the intruder, ready to finish her off. "Greatest Maid in the World? You won't live too long to accomplish that."

Lilia quivered under the intense glare and shear killing intent of the man now aiming to take her life. 'Calm down! I can do this! Maybe he still hasn't figured it out….'

"You're the shitty wench who humiliated me…..and destroyed my car….."

'HE TOTALLY FIGURED IT OUT!' she wailed inwardly. Then she blinked, confused "HOW DID YOU KNOW I DESTROYED YOU CAR?"

Without a word, he fired a shot, a shot Lilia only barely managed to dodge. As the smoke cleared and Lilia looked up to find Xanxus hovering over her with that exact gun, he smirked, "Instinct."

"….." Lilia looked up, eyes fearless still on the ground. "You're still that same idiot aren't you…..Xaru."

Popping more veins, he couldn't handle it anymore as he fired again except this time with both guns, "DIE!"

Thankfully, insanely enough she managed to dodge the bullet as she rolled backwards, with ease.

She stood up and faced Xanxus with a new found conviction. Xanxus equally stared back at her.

"You….Are you a fucking bug?" he asked genuinely irritated and curious

"ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME?"

"Why is it every time I try to kill you, you never die?"

She straightened up, shaking off the dirt, leaves and blood that had managed to stain her sports attire and hair from her Forest Adventure. Tilting her hat upwards, she smirked, "I've cheated death on several occasions. Old habits die hard they say."

"I really want to kill you now…" Xanxus wasn't even angry anymore. He was furious! So much so, the Varia were inwardly planning escape routes incase the castle got caught up in what was about to come.

She cracked her knuckles as she began walking up closer to Xanxus. Separating them was the destroyed floor of the dining room, debris everywhere.

Looking up, she grinned in pleasure, "Is that a challenge?"

Xanxus and Lilia were now facing each.

"Incredible. It's like the showdown between the 'Final Boss' and the 'Wild Beast'."

Squalo glanced sideways at the new spectator that had just joined them.

"What are you doing here? Second in Command of the Security Department, Cesario?"

"Why is it there is an intruder within Varia HQ?" Levi questioned, murderously

"Shishishi…..Have you betrayed us?" Flashing out his knives, Bel walked closer to the man in question

Cesario looked ahead, refusing to meet the eye of his superiors. After all, he had failed, yet funny thing was, he felt no regret.

"What happened out there?" questioned Mammon as he materialized in front of Cesario

Cesario closed his eyes. "….."

He thought back, to the incredible sight he had witnessed.

_Lilia was happily skipping through the forest, promptly ignoring the scary noises, scuttling sounds, mysterious red eyes and eerie presences that surrounded her. _

"_What a lively forest." She thought out loud, as she placed her branch-turned walking stick on her shoulders. _

_Then grinning like a fool, she admits, "Maybe I'll join you guys. Yosh! Let's sing a song!"_

_A mysterious voice in the bushes surrounding the girl, shook, 'What the heck is she thinking? Lively? Singing?'_

'_S-Sir? Is that really an intruder?'_

'_Ahou! Don't let disguises fool you!'_

'_That's right! She may want us to think she's an idiot long enough for us to lower our guard and then kill us!'_

'_EHHHHH! NO WAY?'_

'_REALIZE THESE THINGS SOONER!'_

'_Shhh….She'll hear us. Besides don't be fooled no matter how much she acts like an idiot, understand, men?'_

'_Sir, yes, sir!'_

_Lilia drew in a huge breath to sing the first verse. _

_The men tensed._

"_Ten idiots are jumping across a cliff! One fell down and broke his leg! And then, there was one!" she sang as she happily skipped along_

'_S-Sir….are you sure she's not just an idiot?'_

'…_..'_

_Lilia froze as she realized something. "Hold on!" she proclaimed out loud, startling the men hiding in the trees_

'_Shit! D-Did she figure it out?'_

'_Tch. Guess we have no choice. Charge men!'_

"_One doesn't come before ten!"_

_The men fell off the tree so hysterically mid way and completely exposed themselves. Popping a few veins, they all shot up and screamed with jaws, "YOU IDIOT! REALIZE THESE THINGS SOONER!"_

"_Ah!" The men blinked. _

"_Ah!" Lilia blinked. _

"…_." said the men_

"…_." Said Lilia_

_Lilia bowed in apology, "Sorry. I'll be careful."_

"_WHY ARE __**YOU**__ APOLOGIZING?" they yelled comically, furious_

"_Well…." Lilia scratched her head, "Aren't you guy's teachers? You got mad at me for getting my numbers wrong, right?"_

"_YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT EVEN WITHOUT US TELLING YOU!"_

'_Sir! This person is an idiot! Let's take advantage of it!'_

'_Excellent thinking, Varia Lower Member Number 45-kun!' the Superior whispered to the other guy_

"_Yes, that's right! We are teachers!" exclaimed the Superior Officer as he merrily pushed up the fake glasses that popped up out of nowhere_

"_Alright then. See ya!" And with that, Lilia whirled around._

"_YOU'RE LEAVING JUST LIKE THAT?" they screamed, pissed. They watch as she grinned and waved back. _

"_It was nice meeting you all. I hope to meet you all again! Ja na! Sensei-tachi!"_

_The men were taken back. "Hey? That was the first time…."_

"_And intruder had ever said that."_

"_S-She wants to meet us again? Stupid! Don't fall for her tricks!"_

"_But Sir!"_

"_We are Varia's Strongest Security Force. Our job is to erase unnecessary existences that stand between Varia's victories. We guard the Forest and our Boss' lives! We don't have time to play around."_

_The men looked down, distraught. They'd been with the Varia a long time now, so long they didn't even have a home to go back to. How else where they supposed to react to such a proclamation. And they were Assassin's for crying out loud, most wouldn't even live to see them a second time! And why would you want to meet Assassin's anyway?_

"_Prepare, my box weapon. And prepare for battle. We cannot let her enter the Varia Main Grounds. _

_Some blinked but they understood their Superior's decision. To come walking into the forest to meet the Varia, this woman was no normal being. _

_Begrudgingly, they said in unison, "Sir, Yes, Sir!"_

"_Haha! The old senseis were pretty funny! " Lilia wondered out loud. "They all wore the same clothes too…..Oh well! Second Verse!" She proclaimed out loud. Lilia cleared her throat as she began to sing again, "Nine idiots were jumping 'cross a cliff. One fell down an-"_

"_Bahahahaaaaa~~~~~~"_

_Stopping from her trek, Lilia looked around. "A goat?" She began to frantically look around, "A goat in a forest? Is it a Forest Goat?" she asked innocently to no one in particular_

_She failed to notice in her analytical monologue, that a huge shadow loomed above her._

"_Why is there a goat in a fore-"_

_CRASH!_

_The shadowy figure slammed down some body part onto an unsuspecting Lilia. "Damn! What the?" Lilia, by God's miracle had managed to dodge the potentially life threatening shot._

_She looked up to see a …GIANT GOAT! _

"_Bahahahaaaaa~~~~~~"_

"…_."_

"_Bahahahaaaaa~~~~~~"_

"_I see. That's too bad, then."_

"_YOU UNDERSTOOD THAT?" screamed a voice behind Lilia_

_Lilia glanced behind her. Her hands flew to her mouth in surprise and her eyes showed distress, "You are…"_

"_Kuku….Recognize us don't you?" The Superior officer put his hands on his hips as he laughed demonically, "We are the Varia's External Security Force! We are assassins hired to protect this forest with our lives!" he exclaimed out loudly and very proudly_

_The other 50 or so men appeared, weapons in hand. _

"_EEEEHHHHHH! YOU GUYS TEACH ASSASSINS?" she screamed, eyes shooting out of her sockets in surprise_

_The man in charge blinked, "What? No-You really are an-"_

'_Sir! You forgot to remove your glasses.'_

'_Oh! Fiddlesticks! Thank you __V.L.M. N. - 21-kun (__**V**__aria __**L**__ower __**M**__ember __**N**__umber dash 21-kun)!'_

"_Behold! I am the Security Commander Cesario, the Assassin famously known as the "Red Flash" for my brilliant Red mustache and-ARE YOU LISTENING?"_

_Lilia was already fighting neck and neck with the Giant Goat. _

_Cesario laughed as Lilia crash landed from receiving one of the Goat's punches. "You can't defeat my modified Box Weapon. Plus, its Sun factor allows it to heal at a faster rate from your punches and kicks. Give it up!" He laughed, maniacally, a very stereotypical laugh at that too. "You can't defeat my Rosy-chan!"_

_Starring, poker faced, Lilia faced Cesario, serious, "You named your giant pet goat, Rosy?"_

"_SH-SHUT UP! ROSY-CHAN! KILL HER!"_

"_Bahahahaaaaa~~~~~~" Rosy raised her hoof to stamp down on Lilia's traumatized face. _

_WHAM!_

_The crash created a mini earthquake, but Lilia barely managed to escape. Lilia was on her hands and knees, coughing blood as she clutched her stomach with one hand. 'Definitely a few ribs broken. Damn it, I underestimated that giant goat.'_

"_Hey?" Lilia called, earning Cesario's attention _

"_What? Want my number? I'm sorry but I'm already married-"_

"_NOT THAT!" Lilia looked serious, as she glanced at the 50 or so men behind him, "Why are you guarding this forest?"_

_Smirking Cesario closed his eyes. "Me and Rosy have guarded this forest, faithfully for years since, Sword Emperor Tyr's time. We've seen many people go in and out these forests for many reasons. Many never came back. That's why we still guard this place. It is the only thing that gives us a purpose. And that why no one…." Lilia's eyes focused, at Cesario's murderous intent, "…NO ONE WILL GET PAST US! THIS FOREST IS MY TREASURE! AND WE'LL GUARD IT WITH OUR LIVES!"_

_Starring, Lilia closed her eyes as she smiled. "I see." Struggling to get up, she pushed herself up to stand. "Treasure, eh?" _

"_W-What are you doing?" Cesario asked as he watched Lilia_

_Lilia was doing leg stretches and arms stretches. "I'm sorry, Ossan! I might chip your treasure a bit." She stated_

"_What are you talking about?…." Cesario stared gape eyed as he watched Lilia turning toward him with a grin._

"_I like you. You got guts. So, I just wanted to say sorry before I did it."_

"_Wha-EEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHH?" Cesario screamed in marvel _

_Because, unexplainably, Lilia had shot herself up, crushing the ground beneath her feet and had managed to punch Rosy right across her face. The punch was so strong, it somehow made the goat fall as Lilia remained in air. _

"_Ah, crap! I jumped too high! How do I land?" she panicked in the air_

_Still not believing what had just happened, he stood frozen as another officer yelled out, "SHOOT HER DOWN! DON'T LET HER STEP ONTO THE VARIA MAIN GROUNDS!"_

_She gracefully landed and seeing the mass of guns pointed at her, Lilia muttered, "Shimatta! Guess I have no choice." Lilia swung over her bag and proceeded to throw whatever that was in there at the enemy. _

"_What the hell? A spoon?" said a Varia member as Lilia kept shooting her forks and knives_

"_She's throwing kitchen utensils?"_

"_Why?"_

"_No. I think the more important question is what is she? Handling common households products like assassination weapons…."_

"_Shoot! There's a fork lodged between my eyes!"_

"_Damn! A frying pan just slammed into my head!"_

"_That was a cast iron skillet, moron!"_

"_How are you even alive?"_

"_USE THE NETS!" commanded another voice as the men complied and used the nets_

"_Tch. You guys are in the way." Lilia ducked passed a net, as she crouched in front of a tree. Staring at it, a light bulb went off. She dug deep down and with a fairly effortless pull, pulled the whole tree out of the ground. _

_The Varia's eyes went centimeters away from their original location in their respective sockets. It's not everyday you see a woman lifting a full grown adult tree with nothing but her hands. Without another word, she swung it around like a baseball bat wiping out another good 20 men. _

"_Phew. Forty down, ten to go…." She said throwing the tree over. _

"_W-What is she?"_

"_Ba-Bakemono!" ("Monster!")_

_Cesario couldn't help but gulp at the damage the girl had managed to do in a mere 10 minutes. 'Incredible. She defeated my Rosy with a single punch. She lifted that tree out of the ground like it was nothing. She's trained remarkably well too. Her martial arts are beyond anything I've ever seen too….. To think she would come to us…..'_

_Something stirred in the background. _

_Lilia froze, dread overwhelming her and Cesario paled in fear. A shadow, twice as big and ten times as frightening was standing behind them now. _

"_BRAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA…!"_


	5. To Beat up a Boss

_CHAPTER 5: _

_Cesario realizing he had forgotten something, paled. 'Shoot! The anesthesia!'_

_Rosy's eyes were a blood red now, showing rage and anger. She stood up (the towering giant that she was) on her hind legs and began crushing and destroying everything in her path!_

"_Oh no! She's out of control!" yelled Cesario. He turned to the man next to him, "Gather the injured, and take them away from here as far as possible. And bring me the anesthesia!" _

"_What about you-"_

"_BOY! DON'T DISOBEY DIRECT ORDERS! THAT IS THE RULE ALL ASSASSINS UNDER THE VARIA MUST FOLLOW! DO YOU UNDERSTAND!"_

_The young recruit stood, amazed but nodded as he scrambled off to do his duty. _

_Shortly after, Lilia landed beside Cesario. "Hey Ossan? What's up with your goat? I thought I KO'ed her?"_

_Cesario slumped, "No….Rosy….was an abandoned experiment. Something went wrong during her psychological surgery which caused a deficiency in her thinking. In battle, if she knows she's going to lose she will go on a rampage until her body breaks down from physical stress. That's why the scientists abandoned her and I found her. We've been partners since." _

_Lilia stared at him. She knew what it meant to have a partner. Since she had always been the type of woman never to distinguish a friend as a good guy or bad guy, she felt that this man knew what he was talking about. Besides, to her, if she didn't like someone, they are essentially the bad guys. In other words, there is a good reason why someone as innocent as her would hate someone. _

_Walking up to the kneeling man, she put her arms on his shoulders, and with a serious look of absolute confidence, she said, "Don't worry, I'll get her back."_

_His eyes, widened. Cesario couldn't believe what he just heard. All his life, he had always believed he and Rosy were the only ones who could understand each other. Rosy was too monstrous for her own too good, while him, he was beyond normal life now. _

_She walked forward, cracking her knuckles and ignoring the sharp pain igniting from her rib cage. She's been through worse, a couple of broken ribs were almost non-existent to her. _

"_Stand back, sensei!" Lilia took a martial art pose, calming her nerves she silently took a breath in as Rosy toward over her ready to attack._

_Rosy brought down her monster size hoof on Lilia. _

_Cesario and the surviving men stood dumbfounded as they saw the hoof crush the ground upon intact where Lilia stood. _

"_THE GIRL!"_

"_OH MY GOD!"_

_Cesario sat blinking in shock. _

_Suddenly a figure speared in front of the giant rampaging goat, in front its eyes. _

"_Sit." Said Lilia as she unleashed a punch so powerful the goat staggered backward. It's massive body flew back and in slow motion it crash landed on it's back._

_The spectator's eyes bulged._

"_She threw Rosy backwards?"_

"_Is that possible?"_

"_Holy shit!"_

_Even Rosy herself, couldn't believe there was someone other than the Boss, Xanxus could actually take her down. Surges of power and rage filled her as she stirred from her fallen shock. Lilia stood, eyes knitted in Battle Mode. _

_She had landed only a few meters from the head of Rosy, on her side. _

_Rosy stirred and got up, glaring daggers of might at her. For a 20 feet tall monster, thus was very intimidating. _

_Rosy pulled her hoof back again to unleash another punch._

"_Wait!" cried Lilia putting her hand up_

_Rosy hesitated. There was something about Lilia commanding voice and her face that ever the disobedient Rosy couldn't refuse._

"_We're even now! Let's fight again, later!" grinned Lilia as she threw her arms back behind her head_

_Everyone eyes even Rosy, stood dumbfounded. _

"_What?"_

_Lilia turned around as climbed up a frozen Rosy's nose, staring at her eye to eye. Lilia stood on it, as she crashed down. _

"_Dad used to say that men bond by eating rice from the same bowl and through their fists. Since we both fought to our full limit, hand to hand…..doesn't that make us friends?"_

_Rosy couldn't believe it. Someone actually wanted to be her friend. And it wasn't her who asked, it was another being. Without even knowing, Rosy was back to her normal self. Tears hung in huge blobs at the corners of the goat's eyes as she stared unable to 'baaaa'. _

"_I thought they were both girls." said a Varia member_

_Lilia stood up. She leaned on her right, as she put her hand on her hip and the other behind her hair. She gave out a carefree and happy grin at Rosy, completely serious."I'm Lilia Akamouto! I'm the woman whose going to be the World's Greatest Maid! Yoroshiku!"_

"_Bahahahaaa….." cried out Rosy, happy. Rosy got up as Lilia jumped off. Staring down at her new human friend, both of them grinned/ baaaaed in reply._

"_World's greatest Maid? That's so stupid. But…if it's her…maybe she can do it." Even Cesario couldn't' help but smile. He got up and walked up to Lilia. "Thank you." He said_

_Lilai noticing the man beside her, simply grinned. _

_Everything was going perfect until Cesario noticed the wrecking ball had come of it's hinges from hitting such a hard object (a.k.a. Rosy!) and was currently rolling down at impossible speeds, squashing everything in its way. _

"_YOU IDIOT!" cried Cesario hysterically while running for his dear life_

"_I'M SORRY!" replied Lilia equally running for her life_

"_BAHAAAAAA!" cried Rosy terrified, also running_

"_WHY DID YOU USE A WRECKIGN BALL IN THE FIRST PLACE?"_

"_HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BEAT HER UP?"_

"_HOW ABOUT ASKING ME FIRST?"_

"_YOU WERE ATTACKING ME FIRST!'_

"_O YEAH!"_

"_ARE YOU AN IDIOT?"_

"_I DON'TWANT TO HEAR THAT FROM YOU!"_

"_THIS IS YOUR FOREST! DO SOMETHING!"_

"_MY FOREST WAS DESTROYED BY YOU! YOU DO SOMETHING!"_

_Lilia turned around, from running. "Alright!" _

"_YOU'RE ACTUALLY DOING IT! RUN! YOU'LL- Oh! Whateevr."_

"_BAHAHAHAH…."_

"_What can I do Rosy? You saw her. I can't handle her type!"_

_Lilia looked in foreboding fear at the giant wrecking ball half the size of Enzo rolling towards her, with the speed of a rocket. _

"_What are you planning to do?" asked Cesario, as he stopped and faced her_

_With a completely serious look, Lilia faced the ball, "I'm going to stop it."_

_Cesario's and Rosy's jaw dropped. "YOU'RE WHAT? HOW ARE YOU GOING TO THAT?"_

_Without another word, Lilia crouched, reading her self._

_The ball was only meters away now._

"_YOU IDIOT! RUN AWAY!"_

_The ball was only … well it was about a meter away._

"_OOOONNNNAAAA!"_

"_BAHAHAHAHA!"_

_Inches away from completely annihilating her, she disappeared._

"_What where'd she go?"_

_They looked around and saw it. They couldn't believe their eyes. _

"_Oh shoot! I accidentally jumped and landed on it." She exclaimed with her eyes popping out, and ran like crazy_

"_YOU'RE RIDING IT?"_

_Indeed. Lilia was nonchalantly riding the still rolling ball, as she ran on top of it so she wouldn't fall off. Her body was working like crazy as tried to match the ball's rolling speed. Lilia looked down at the stupefied duo of a giant goat and its partner._

"_By the way,…"_

_The duo snapped out of their shock. Really, it's not everyday you see a woman running on top of a ball and NOT fall off._

"_Shouldn't you guys run too?"_

_The goat and the partner paled at the idea._

"_YOU IDIOT! THE SITUATION HASN'T CHANGED AT ALL!" exclaimed Cesario hysterically as he ran for his dear life_

"_BAHAHAAAAAA!" cried Rosy, as waterfalls poured down her face_

"_AH! YOU'RE RIGHT!"_

"_YOU DUMBASS!"_

"_IIIIYAAAAAAAA! SOMEBODY STOP ME!"_

"_YOU USELESS SHITHEAD!"_

"_I…." The duo looked up curious why she stop screaming, on top of the rolling ball, "I think I'm getting air sick….." Lilia face was turning blue, as she began sweating _

"_ARE YOU SERIOUS?"_

_Then, Varia External officers came up and informed Cesario still running, "Sir! Not good! The wrecking ball!"_

"_YES! YOU IDIOT! I KNOW ABOUT THE DAMN WRECKING BALL!"_

"_No Sir! It's heading right towards the-"_

_Eyes widening, Lilia face deformed as she saw what was in front of her destructive path! _

_Without wasting another minute, the ball went up a random rock which was shaped like a ramp, carrying with it a very stunned Lilia and like a ramp, it elevated the ball and threw it into the only building._

_The giant goat and the humans watched in utter horrification and terror while others jaw dropped, pulled out their hair and began signing their wills. _

_The wrecking ball, carrying with it its wrecking partner…..had just crashed into the Varia Headquarters._

…..

"And that's what happened." Finished Cesario

The Varia officers couldn't even react, they just stared at him like he popped another head.

Blinking in confusion, he looked around. "Hmn. Funny, I thought they'd be more of a reaction." He had left out the…'emotional' bits and also several parts.

"No." replied Squalo. He, along with others, was now staring in wonder and stupidity at the woman in question, who had miraculously survived.

"We're just so shocked, we can only react in our minds."

"I don't even know how to react at the impossibility of such an event."

"Shishishi…..What an unusual creature."

"The Giant Goat?" asked Levi, still staring at Lilia.

"No, you perverted old man. The … female… She is a woman right?"

"….."

For the first time, the Varia officers looked at Lilia clearly. Even Cesario, had failed to notice her.

She had a normal complexion, nothing special. She wore, a matching red track suit, like the ones Japanese schools gave out except these had "Adidas" written along it. She had rolled up her track pants to her knees, and her jacket was zipped to the very top of her neck. She even wore a sports hat, white and orange in design with the words, "Sunshine!" on it.

"She has terrible fashion sense." Cringed Lusuria looking at her black and white converse. "Ugh. She can't even be called a woman."

"You're right." Said Mammon, judging her, "You look more of a woman than her."

"I bet she's an A-cup." Stated Flan, looking at her…uhm…chest. A rather flat one.

But her fashion didn't even compare with her oddity. Sure, thanks to her adventure in the Varia forest, she was not only muddy, dirty, covered in leafy bits, and stayed a bloody sight with multiple bruises on her body….Okay, yeah it was pretty bad.

The most stunning thing about her were her eyes. Well, the hat had long since come off during her 'entrance'. Her beautiful yet odd rust colored layered hair, flew in the oncoimg breeze from the gigantic hole behind her. She had it tied in a low ponytail at the back of her neck. Her bangs were on the left, and the lustious hair brought out another equally tantalizing feature.

Her eyes. Her Emerald green eyes that shone in excitement and curiosity, free of anything sad. Even Cesario was momentarily taken back, at those astonishing eyes. They peered as if they could see every single secret in you, and displayed all her emotions in herself.

"Those eyes….."

Lusuria snorted jealous, "Hmph. At least she had some redeeming feature, worthy of the female species."

"Shishishi…She would be pretty if she weren't so…..manly."

"Bel-sempai…That's sexual harassment."

"What's this? Chibi-Officer knows about sexual harassment? I blame Levi."

"WHAT!?"

"Maybe it's Lusuria?"

"VOOOIIII! SHUT UP AND WATCH TRASH!"

Xanxus chuckled, pulling up to the front again, enjoying the fact that he could destroy both the woman who humiliated him, that Sawada-trash no doubt important person and the child of the woman who had once abandoned him. He was so happy he didn't know which of the three choices made him the happiest to finally rid her.

"Perfect. Let's get down to killing your pathetic life into nothing." He smirked really, really evilly. In fact it was so evil, Lilia and the Varia officers shuddered.

And this is why he is the Boss of the Varia, people. (No! Not because of his smirks!)

"Boss. He's serious." Said Levi, "OHHH! THAT'S MY BOSS!"

"That's was disgusting. Please stop, …..perverted jii-san." Stated Flan

"I SAID SHUT UP AND WATCH!"

Everyone's attention was brought back, when they heard Lilia cracking her knuckles. Looking up she grinned in pleasure.

"Like hell you will. But, how about a deal?"

Xanxus narrowed his eyes. 'What is she planning?'

"If I defeat you in this battle, then you'll hire me as your maid!" she said placing her hands on her hip while the other pointed at Xanxus.

Everyone stared at her again, this time, eyes bulging out of her sockets.

He couldn't do it anymore. Xanxus burst out laughing. "Trash! What makes you even think you can touch me let alone defeat me?"

Taking a pose, ignoring the mocking laughs around her, she narrowed her eyes as she smirked, "Don't be stupid. I know I can't."

"DON'T PROCLAIM IT SO PROUDLY!"

Xanxus raised his eyebrows, in question.

"But….if I knock off one of your guns….I'll be close right?" she grinned

With a sadistic chuckle, Xanxus faced her fully, "Betting your life on a single chance? You got guts, for a woman. I'm tempted to not kill you now."

Lilia blinked, as she straightened up. "Really? That's good then."

"I WASN'T SERIOUS!"

"WHAT! NO WAY! YOU LIAR!"

"WHO'S THE LIAR? DAMN YOU!" A shadow covered Xanxus, really he couldn't handle this woman's stupid innocence. "Y-You…." He trembled in anger, "YOU DINOSAUR-ONNA!"

Xanxus blinked. Did he really just say that?

Popping a few veins, Lilia stood with a burning background, "WHO THE HELL'RE YOU CALLING A DINOSAUR, YOU GORILLA-OSSAN!" she screamed pointing at him

The Varia's jaw dropped.

Again, scars began resurfacing on Xanxus' face. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU CALL ME? I'M FUCKING 24!"

Lilia stuck out her tongue, "Like I care. You look like a gorilla, act like a gorilla and you're older than me! That's makes you an old gorilla!"

Squalo felt his eye twitch.

"Where is the logic in that?" questioned Levi

"I think we just got a glimpse of how her brain works." Stated Mammon

"THAT MAKES NO SENSE!" yelled Xanxus, already on fire, "Oh I get it!" he said suddenly smirking, "You're one of those mentally inclined types? An idiot among idiots, right?"

Lilia popped a vein, "HUH? YOU RUDE JERK! I'M NOT AN IDIOT!"

"Hmph! Only a dino-powered, roach-type idiot who refuses to die…..is an idiot in my dictionary-"

Xanxus ducked out of the way as a huge part of his destroyed wall – a boulder – came flying at him. It crashed into little pieces, destroying the other wall upon impact.

The Varia stared gape eyed (except Cesario) at the woman lifting the dining table with only one hand, above her head, ready to throw it.

Then, she threw it. The dining table, I mean.

'She can lift the iron welded table?' Shooting off with his guns, Xanxus expertly dodged the table and with a powerful shot, destroyed the table into little pieces.

"You….." she started as everyone gulped under the extreme killing intent she let off with her simple glare, "Just because I've forgotten about your face, don't think I've forgotten what you did. I'll never forgive you, you damn jerk! I'll make sure you regret ever meeting me….."

Xanxus laughed out loud, as he clutched his stomach. With a sadistic grin, he looked at her in amusement, "So you want to kill me, just for trying to kill that fucking old man? And you want me to regret it? I've killed and done many things that anyone would later have regret over but…..I have never regretted anything in my life!" he admitted, smirking

"Good." She stated. Everyone watched as she took another pose, resembling a fighting stance, "Then you can start now."


End file.
